


Never Should Have Strayed

by PJTL156



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: F/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJTL156/pseuds/PJTL156
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poem. Stella's POV. She sits in her office in New Orleans and realizes how tired she is. When did she become like Mac? She starts to think about how much she misses home, and has been for a while now. SMacked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Should Have Strayed

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with CSI: NY.

Look at the clock

Tells me to go home

But where is that?

I don't know anymore

He's not around

So there's no real point

Might as well just stay here

Get some work done

Tomorrow I'll start all over

Yet again

Rub my [tired eyes](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7575191/1/Never_Should_Have_Strayed)

Sore and bloodshot

Wow, I need some sleep

When did I turn into him?

It used to be me

Come into his office at night

Say, "You need some rest"

He'd smile and listen to me

My heart would skip a beat

I'd forget to breathe

He always made me feel that way

It wasn't often he'd be happy

Why was it when I was around

He always seemed to be?

I think it, question it

But I know the answer

Because it's the same for me

Don't know why I'm here

No, not in my office

But back home

Thirteen-hundred miles away

Why'd I come here?

I said to make a difference

But am I really?

So many questions

The only one I can answer

Is why we were happy

I miss him

I miss us

I miss everything back home

Every night anymore

The same thoughts come to me

Should just resign

They'd want me back…

Wouldn't they?

Yes, I was replaced

But Mac said I never could be

Did that mean something more,

Or am I just imagining things?

Lean back against my chair

Feel it tipping backwards

Funny, it's like my life

Keep trying to fall

Stop myself, then start again

But is it worth it?

No, I guess not

It's not running away

If you're going back home

It's being where you belong

I've made up my mind

Get out that paper

It's been in my desk

For some time

Write the date and freeze

Do I want to do this?

A voice in my mind says, "Yes"

Put the pen back to paper

See the ink flow

Not even thinking as I do

I explain the circumstances

Try to be professional

But a tear falls on the page

Didn't know I was crying

Guess I'm just happy

This stage of my life inert

Move to better things

Even if it's not this

Old NYC, I'm coming back

Can't do this anymore

I'll find a way

Maybe help kids like me

Start anew, all of us

And Mac, who brought this on

I'll muster the courage

Finally tell him the truth

My deepest feelings

He can move on, too

If he allows it

But I know I can convince him

He'll do anything for me

As I would for him

Besides,

It's for our own good

Turn off my light,

For the last time

Leave the office with a smile

It won't leave tonight,

I am sure of it

Don't look back

The letter's on my desk

My belongings in my arms

I think I'm on the right track

Never should have strayed before.


End file.
